Making sense of writing

2009 August 16
by Brian

Perhaps a hopeless task, but the most frequent question I receive is: How do you write that? When I write fiction I try to be as descriptive as possible while still being literary. However with poetry I try to be as obscure as possible without being stupid. Then I had an idea. Why don’t I write a short story then a free-verse poem and finally a haiku about the same subject? Free-verse gets a bad rap, meter and rhyme are considered superior poetry, but I prefer to write as I think, rather than as an artistic expression.

“Hot meals and utensils”

Every Sunday, at the local Methodist church, after the 9:30 service, a group of volunteers, most from the church, but not all, went downstairs. Below the vestry and the waterline – the basement had been resealed last month – there was a kitchen, a storage room with long folding tables, chipped and battered, not unlike the congregation; still serviceable, needing replacement parts, too expensive for now. Long years of practice, a gracious ballet, chores done willingly, yet, every Sunday, there was more to do and less to offer. By 11:30, the side door opened, the line, patient; seamed faces, ragged cuffs, whimpering babies, vacant stares waiting, waiting for a free meal: for most, the only food of the day.

“Hot meals and utensils”

more to do
less to offer
always patient
they waited
every Sunday
a free meal
long folding tables
chipped and battered
they waited
only food of the day

———————–
Haiku
———————–

free meal they waited
more to do less to offer
long folding tables

21 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 August 16

    I also added a link to Spatherdab on the top right. She’s the best poet I’ve read and I love her work.

  2. 2009 August 16
    RASJ permalink

    What a great exercise! I often play these kinds of “word games” with myself as they sometimes reveal a real gem. I have so much to tell you – and at some point I will. I’m gearing up for the upcoming school year, and my Monkey will be home from summer camp in 3 days. But there is much to process about writing books – so we’ll catch up! I promise! xoxo

  3. 2009 August 16

    oh you are such a clever bunny :lol:

    interesting what you have to say about free form poetry ;)

  4. 2009 August 16

    Very nice. :) My favorite is the free-verse poem.
    I often start my blog posts this way
    then go back
    filling in the blanks

    off to the store I now go
    in the rain
    with 3 boys

  5. 2009 August 16

    I think your free verse said it best. I am used to my poetry leaving out important details, like transitions between POV, but not so much my prose.

  6. 2009 August 16

    We may be conditioned, and everyone likes a good book, but sometimes less is more.

  7. 2009 August 17

    Very fun! Like cutting things down to their very essence, without losing any of the impact. Thanks for sharing!

  8. 2009 August 17

    Well done. By the way, I think being literary IS doing it how you want to. It’s only publishers who’ve forgotten that :-)

  9. 2009 August 17
    DaBich permalink

    Hey Bri! What a nice surprise to see you in my inbox this morning. I see you’ve been proliferate as always. Do you ever rest? Hope the summer is being good to you. Hubs and I will do vacation soon, nothing major, just time off from work. I’m glad you remember me! HUGZ!

  10. 2009 August 17

    Love the free verse! It says just enough. But I also like your description of the volunteers, too, in the prose.

  11. 2009 August 19

    This strikes a chord with me. All of it.

    this journey started the right way

  12. 2009 August 20

    I fully agree with the comment above (by kinziblog) about not “losing any of the impact.” In each of the three versions, poverty is shown, along with charity. I most liked the use of the line (and image of) “long folding tables” in all three pieces.

  13. 2009 August 22

    I think long folding tables is a consensus favorite.

  14. 2009 August 25

    I loved this piece – all three forms. I’ve been having a good afternoon browsing through your blog posts. I am very new to blogging myself – but its never too late to learn. I am hoping, through blogging, to find a poetry writing group – on the internet! I am always looking for an audience for the poems I write – particularly one that is not part of my circle of family and friends who are forced by loyalty to be appreciative! I find you inspiring – tell me please how you do it.

  15. 2009 August 29

    This was so clever…you got the feeling and emotion across in each one.

  16. 2009 August 29

    I think you expressed it well in all three forms. I think I like the prose version best. I think the prose version IS poetry – sharply descriptive and thoughtfully worded. That doesn’t mean that I don’t think that the poetic versions are good too. (double negative!). Cut out the last DN sentence and just accept that I think all the forms are excellent!

    I always enjoy your Sunday Scribblings’ offerings.

  17. 2009 August 29

    Hi Brian! I must try this it worked nicely. Thank you!

  18. 2009 August 30

    Very Interesting thoughts. Descriptive- > free verse poem -> haiku….great way to go.

    Am still evolving as a free verse writer.But i could sense a great freedom and better flow…

  19. 2009 August 30

    makes you think.

  20. 2009 August 31

    How many times I have been helping set up long folding tables, peeling potatoes, warming casseroles, trying do decide just how much salt should go in that HUGE pot of soup – loved loved loved all three…

  21. 2009 August 31

    Thanks. :)

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